Sketch «Personal boundaries»
Emotional boundaries fall into the categories of time, emotions, energy and values. Be aware of boundary traps in relationships. The following scenarios may seem familiar. Start by recognizing which boundary traps you commonly fall in.
- I am nobody if I’m not in a relationship. My identity comes from my partner and I will do anything to make this person happy.
- This is better than the last relationship I was in.
- I spend all my time involved in my partner’s goals and activities. There just isn’t enough time left to do what I want to do.
- My partner would be lost without me.
- If I just give it more time, the relationship will get better.
- Most of the time the relationship is great…Ok well occasionally it is and that’s enough for me.
«Setting good personal boundaries is critical to creating healthy relationships, increasing self- esteem and reducing stress, anxiety and depression. Boundaries protect your personal self by setting a clear line between what is me and what is not me. A lack of boundaries opens the door for others to determine your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Defining boundaries is a process of determining what behavior you will accept from others and what you will not.
Boundaries include physical boundaries, as well as, emotional boundaries. Physical boundaries include your body, personal space, and privacy. Violations include standing too close, inappropriate touching, even looking through your personal files or your phone. Emotional boundaries involve separating your feelings from another’s feelings. Violations include, taking responsibility for another’s feelings, letting another’s feelings dictate your own, sacrificing your own needs to please another, blaming others for your problems, and accepting responsibility for theirs. Strong boundaries protect your self- esteem and your identity as an individual with the right to make your own choices.» Author: Stephanie Camins – MA, LPC
More about: Setting Emotional Boundaries in Relationships
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